MONSTER!!

since wednesday.. i think i ate too much.. after gym on wednesday, i had one plate of hor fun!, when i got home, i had er... 2 sets of sandwhiches with 1 meat patty and egg for each sandwich and some cookies.. thats dinner.. lol

now on friday, after gym.. i had.. a plate of black pepper beef rice.. got home i had a home cook meal! with 3 fish sticks, 6 meat balls with fries and vegs.. haha

and whats worse...... after all that.... i am still hungry.....

what u got there huh? hahaha wanna share?!

bottled up feelings....

.... i feel like dying... there is something in me that i felt, that wanna come out.. but i am doing all i can to keep it in.. reason being.. its not suppose to be out.. *losing control*.. pls.. end me..

trash talk always comes from trash!

man, i am not happy at all.. i want trouble... i dont like to solve things using words, because it doesent work!! you can never know what the little brain of theirs is thinking!.. so i say! OUT LOUD! "if u cant teach a person by instruction.. u can always teach them by pain!"

who says violent acts cant solve shit? haha screw the motherfu**er who said that! u know why u say that? cos u are weak.. u dont wanna train.. u are WEAK and now the time comes, u will be fighting a losing battle.. in the law of nature.. "the strong will prey on the weak.. and the big, will feed on the small" oh come on.. we are all animals.. dont deny that.. we might be smart, creative and oh i dunnno.. human? but in the end.. instinct always kicks in, at the last moment..

yea yea, when u mother**ckers out there say i am trash talking, well, i am.. haha so i am a trash.. so why dont u man up? pick me up, crush me, and throw me in the bin? oh wait.. u cant... u have problem picking on me huh.. well.. hmm.. so in this case.. u dont have much of a choich huh? this piece of trash is too much for u to handle.. hahaha! so.. if me(a trash) is too much for u... what makes you?.. omg!!! i dunno!! haha well, just label u as a moth**fucker ba.. oops.. sorry, star the wrong **cking place.. i mean u are motherf*ck*r! yea that is.. hahaha

well, if u think i have a foul mouth in this post.. u are wrong!.. cos i am not speaking u idiot! lol! yea i have friends, both good and bad, cant blame me cos i have learnt abit from both sides.. oh well, at least now i found a new motivation for me to train.. thank bitch! without you.. there wont be me..

Thoughts

Feeling worthless.. but.. when my time comes, i am gonna turn my back on the world.. and say "where were u when i need you". and to those who hate me or something, haha kill me now.. its ur chance.. cos if u miss.. imma hunt u down.. and i am gonna enjoy it..

more... strength... addicted to hate.. its like a curse and bless..

bad for health.. but it motivates..

i need to clear my head.. and.. empty my soul...

Weird times..

haha it seems nowadays i am missing people alot more then i should.. haha.. *dont like this feeling*.. i wanna be like, "eh wan go out mah?" it stead of *wondering if i should send this sms or not*..

think i am having a crush right? hahaha.. this is crazy.. imma crush that person if i found out who is she!! she is the one responsible!! making me feel wad i feel now...

hmmm.. now should i or should i not?

*fustrated*

My dear friend

I cant believe i still recall moments when i was at my CLT course. funny thing was, in this dream, my friend and i was giving out cookies to my platoon. i can kinda even recall how i first talked to her.

i was saying: erm, can i see your notes? i forgot to bring my glasses.
She: ya sure.

i was freakingly shy when i spoke to her! lol and yes we were in No.4 uniforms back then.... wait... yea i think we were.. haha

then when i asked for her number, *erm, i think asking for contact was requested*

me: hey *** **, can i get ur number?
she: how about i give u my email?
me: er ok.

*after a while*

me: why cant u give me ur number?
she: lets play a game.
*wrote this "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _"
she: guess.
me: *started guessing*

*obviously i lost, yes i cant guess her number*

*BUT*
she gave me anyways^^

well, thats how we became friends.

but we kinda lost contact after the course.
we agreed that we will organize a gathering all together for a movie or sth.
first movie she asked me out was to see AVATAR.. but i was having camp.. so i cant make it...
the second.. never came..

well, i was hoping to get this friendship back though.. haha i dont wanna be just hi bye friends.. so... yea.. let fate decide..

*i just wanna let it out*

she is very VERY beautiful!! hahah! *no kidding!*

My dear friend